3 What Family Reunions Mean to Me

By: Marvin DeBose

Yesterday, I attended my family reunion, which my family coordinates annually out in Philadelphia's Fairmount Park. 

It was a sunny, yet cool day. People danced to songs like "The Electric Slide" and "The Cupid Shuffle". Smiling, energetic sweat-drenched young children played dodgeball and had sack races in the fields.

Yet, while I was helping to serve food, I got the opportunity to do a little bit of people-watching and I began to notice something disturbing among some of the family members. This was the fact that many didn't seem to understand now appreciate the importance of a family reunion.

This lack of understanding and appreciation was largely evident in people's actions. Some didn't make an effort to meet family members they might not know. Some family members sat away from where most of the family was congregated and, quite frankly, some people seemed to just be there for the food.

I thought to myself, "How is this a family reunion, if the family isn't uniting?"

This bothered me because I see family reunions as being very important, especially for Black families. The reason why I find it so important for Black families is because many of us come from a culture where much of our lineage and history was stripped from us.

When I say "stripped from us", I mean that in the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, much of the history, customs, indigenous languages and names of people of the African diaspora were neglected, rejected, and literally beaten out of us.

Additionally, during slavery, Black families were often intentionally broken up. A mother's children might get sold to another plantation, husbands would be separated from wives, and fathers would be taken away from their families.

We often forget that some of the first Black family reunions were coordinated by runaway slaves who escaped  plantations in the night to seek their loved ones, risking their lives in the process. 

This is why historically, family reunions were nearly seen as sacred events for Black families because of the deeper significance they held as it related to our past.

Black families may not be able tell you exactly what country our ancestors came from. We don't have too many centuries-old family crests or heirlooms, but we do have each other, and each member of our family is a valuable resource. Everyone from the infants to the elders has an important role within our families. 

Understanding our family history and strengthening those family connections is how we rebuild the history that was stripped from us and create a stronger sense of community. 

On top of that, regardless of cultural backgrounds, our family is supposed to be our source of pride, our dynasty; something which we hold to high esteem.

Therefore, we have to cherish and respect the opportunities that we have to connect with our family members. To be unappreciative of that is a disservice to those who came before us who would have gave their lives just to be reunited with family.